Guys, I think it’s been almost a year since I’ve done one of these. At LEAST 6 months. This is completely indicative of the kind of year 2019 was. It was such a cluster that it feels like I wasn’t even LIVING in it…..we were surviving. That’s it.
I am so damn happy this year is almost over that I can’t even properly express it in words. This year SUCKED. There’s no other way about. It was awful.
Winter 2019 was ROUGH. For one, it was colder than I can ever remember it being. So much so that the kids’ schools were closed for over a week straight and we were all stuck inside. No one was booking any work with me because no one was doing ANYTHING with weather like that and….well…if I’m not working I’m not getting paid, right. So yeah……winter was HARD.
When it thawed, I had hope on the horizon. Wedding season was about to start……senior season was about to kick off…..thinks were gonna start happening…..and then the rug was pulled out from under us:
Molly got sick.
Like, really sick.
She was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and what the doctor suspected was Turner Syndrome on the SAME. DAMN. DAY. Needless to say, that day was awful. As a rotten cherry on our crap sundae, my grandfather died the next day.
Yeah.
We spent 4 days in the hospital with Molly and then tried to adjust to our new normal. Finger pricks, injections, appointments to find out WHAT variation of Turner’s she had (she ended up with one of the most rare variations. Figures.)
Surgeries scheduled.
And then….I had to figure out what I was going to do. I couldn’t exactly keep plugging along with a job that was, at it’s best, feast or famine. I needed something SOLID. A paycheck that was reliable. As much as it pained me….after over a decade of self-employment….I went to find a 9-5.
What I ended up going after was something in healthcare administration. It’s what my educational background was in and it’s something I’ve always had a heart for. Working with the elderly was always something I had a strong interest in. I had attempted it a few years ago only to find it disappointing, to say the least, from an administrative side. But I was willing to try again.
I took a job at a small, privately owned memory care facility. I instantly fell in love with the residents. They were, however, the one bright spot in an otherwise dark stint. Nearly as soon as I took over as Director of this facility I was staying late…..working shifts for no-shows….and, the worst of it, getting texts and calls 24/7. All hours of the day and night. It completely took over my life….which at the time needed to be focused on Molly. The expectation was to leave Type A behind 100%….and the closer I got to working my last weddings of 2019, the sadder that made me. The sound of my phone alerting to yet ANOTHER message from work began to give me such anxiety that I was barely sleeping….and I was short with everyone. I was exhausted and wildly unhappy.
It all came to a head when I was, legitimately, faced with choosing between the job and my kid one night.
And I picked my kid.
I had to. If I learned ANYTHING from this wretched year, it’s that it all goes SO fast….it can all change on a dime….you have NO control sometimes and all you can really do is your best.
I quit…..I got home…changed my ring tone (because holy crap, Pavlov was right)…..and started a new job a week later.
The new job gets me home by 4:30….I’m never on call….Type A can flourish….and I get every Friday off.
It’s what I needed. It’s what my FAMILY needed, and I can’t express to my new employers enough how thankful I am that they took a chance on me.
So….Type A is alive….and WELL. I’ll be taking about 12 weddings in 2020…..I’ll be continuing Seniors and Portrait sessions as normal. I’ll have a 3 day weekend every weekend to concentrate on creating….spending time with my kids…..and LIVING again.
2019 was a big ole ball of suck.
But, I’m closing it out on a high note and I have great hope that 2020 is going to beat it by a mile.
We have another Disney visit in the works for this spring. I have some plans to FINALLY visit Green Gables in Canada for my 40th. I got to take Molly to see Hamilton for her birthday this month.
It’s looking up….and all we can REALLY do is shake off mistakes…..count our blessings…..and keep swimming.
