Milwaukee Newborn Photographer | Hope | Cudahy WI Photographer
Who: Hope + Family
Where: Private Home Cudahy, WI
I Just Watched Rachel Hollis' "Documentary" and I Have Some Thoughts
(Pictures in this blog are from www.unsplash.com. Read their usage information HERE)
Sigh.
So yes. I took one for the team, guys. I sat, surrounded by mounds of folded laundry awaiting it s place in our closet, and I turned on “Made for More” (affiliate link because someone should pay me a few cents to watch this thing)…the “Documentary” released by The Hollis Company…Dave and Rachel Hollis. Popular lifestyle gurus. Mindset Coaches. Bloggers. Whatever.
I have made it absolutely no secret that I have a rather acute….let’s say…distaste for Rachel Hollis (the brand. Not the person. I don’t really KNOW the person, obviously). I think she’s exactly what’s wrong with influencer culture and her attachment to Multi-Level Marketing companies such as Lularoe that so obviously prey on women, primarily, and suck their financial stability dry really irks me.
But, I always want to try and give people the benefit of the doubt (I swear. I do.) And….sociologically based research and writing puts a little tickle in my tummy. I nerd out for that stuff.
So here we are.
Made for More.
The first thing I notice is the Amazon description of this “Documentary” (and why I put that in quotes will be fully explained). They call Rachel a mix between Tina Fey and Tony Robbins. Which is a huge insult to Tina Fey and other wildly talented, funny, and creative people if you ask me. Tony Robbins? Yeah. I can get behind that.
But honey, no. A few wink-wink asides to the audience and some story about yogurt in a sock (ok) does not make you on par with one of the greatest female comedians in history. Dave, come get your “girl”.
But, maybe that was Amazon. Not the Hollis Co. Maybe.
I wanted to hate this movie. Oh damn did I want to hate it. I’m gonna make that clear from the get go. My view is entirely biased and I recognize that. Still….I forged ahead.
My problems with Rachel Hollis and her entire platform run DEEP. She set out, I believe, from day one chasing fame and fortune. She pivoted to where the money was….first with being a party planner…then to food blogging…then to being a body-positive viral sensation who dared wear a bikini….then to being a guru/mogul/lifestyle expert. I don’t have a problem with chasing success….really. We are all just trying to get by. Some of us hustle harder than others.
It’s the consistent, inauthentic pivoting that doesn’t ring true.
Hollis has ascended to the highest, blue-check verified echelon of social media standing on the backs of those who came before her….taking their words….taking their ideas….taking their motivational speeches and repackaging them in mermaid hair and false lashes.
I have a BIG problem with plagiarism….and the fact that Rachel Hollis does not is her biggest flaw, if you ask me. The fact that many of her supporters also do not find issue with plagiarism adds to the flaw. Either they’ve ingested SO much Kool-Aid they’ve lost all critical thinking ability….or they TRULY believe that recycled content that was created by others is inspirational “girlbossing”. Both ideas are nearly too much for me to stomach.
From what I’ve been able to gather in my (admitted limited….because let’s face it…I have a job) digging, Rachel Hollis used to be pretty relatable. Like, REALLY relatable…not this faux “curated imperfection” relatable we’ve got going on now. (OMG, I’m SUCH a nerd! TEE HEE! ….Stop it. Just stop.)
She used to be a little fluffier, sure!
She used to have this cute little mom-bob haircut and she would do these videos where she would make a craft or a cake or whatever.
Then, she decided to take a picture of herself in a bikini, strategically place it on the internet (because you know that’s what happened, let’s be real)…and cue viral sensation. So real. So true. So mom.
I missed this whole thing because I had no damn idea who this woman was prior to her book….but I can imagine a LOT of women saw that and didn’t really see a rather fit woman in a bikini with a few stretch marks (so brave)….but a mom lucky enough to be on a beach vacation in a monogrammed swimsuit.
Pivot. Success.
So, this “documentary”.
Let’s just be honest with ourselves, here. This was a commercial. It was completely orchestrated by Dave (her husband) and Rachel. This wasn’t an unflinching look at the rise of a mega-influencer (please, someone make that movie). This was a 2 hour long COMMERCIAL. And damn if I didn’t watch the whole thing.
Rachel kicks things off reminding us that she “started from the bottom, ya’ll”….if the bottom, in this case, is a solid marriage with a Disney higher-up and the ability to throw $40K at an idea to see what happens…..but hey, everyone’s experience is their own. Guess that’s your bottom.
Her core message isn’t exactly FLAWED. Every entrepreneur in the WORLD has the crazy idea that they can rise above their circumstances. We are ALL insane. Every last one of us. You have to be. Dream big….look for better….leap off that hill….assemble your wings on the way down….all that stuff that looks really good in script font on coffee cups sold at Hobby Lobby.
None of this is groundbreaking.
The way Rachel SELLS it, however, is.
She calls her community her “tribe” (and I don’t really have the time nor the space here to go into all of that…but can we stop calling them tribes?)
She is pouncing on the idea that women want community. She SAYS this community is for everyone, but take one look at the pans of the audience and it becomes ABUNDANTLY clear who this community is for.
For one, it’s for Christians. She says it’s not. It is. She published her book under a Christian publisher AND references “God’s plan” numerous times. I don’t have any issue with this, really…but let’s be honest. You can’t appeal to EVERYONE just because you want access to all of their disposable income. If you’re gonna go the Jesus route, tap into that market head on, Rachel.
Jim and Tammy Faye were good enough proof that the Holy Rollers really like to give money to people that tell them they can do anything.
When Rachel’s movie plays inspirational, girl-power music…it cuts to a sweeping image of audience members putting their hands in the air like a praise chorus has lit their Jesus fire from within. They close their eyes and they cry and it’s all very Joel Osteen Mega-Church.
For two, it’s for primarily white women. They did a pretty decent job throwing in some people of color, but the audience was overwhelmingly white.
Rachel espouses that she wants to “equalize people”….but she’s up there. And they’re down there. And she’s YELLING at them that they are MADE FOR MORE without really knowing WHO they are as people, what they do, where their hearts are.
But, I suppose, if they’re willing to shell out between $200 - $1800 PER SEAT for this shin-dig, you can rightly assume they’re probably unhappy with their current station in life OR they simply want to be immersed in the warm glow of internet success.
(Just for some context, HAMILTON didn’t cost me that much)
Lambs to the slaughter.
Rachel says that the women at this event are “a good example of the population”.
However, at $200 for a BASIC ticket to this thing…you’re leaving a lot of the population out in the cold right off the bat. Per the Kaiser Family Foundation, in Hollis’ own state of Texas, 12% of the non-elderly female population lives BELOW the poverty line.
They’re certainly not going to be picking up this universal conference message (and if they watch this movie, they’re basically only getting little snippets).
Rachel says that women HATE the way they look, as evidenced by an exercise she does where she has the women fill out checklists of items about themselves…then pass those around and allow other women to “stand” for their truths. So, Rachel calls out “who hates the way they look?” and the women who have checklists in their hands indicating this stand up.
It’s an admittedly powerful moment when nearly ALL the women in the room stand up for this.
The powerful moment is kind of ruined, however, even with Rachel’s teary performance….when you realize Rachel regularly shows off fake lashes….fake hair….and pigeon-toed influencer poses online to highlight her thigh-gap. Her nails are expertly done and she has glowing, clear skin and is regularly showing herself getting her makeup done and hair done and having fancy photo shoots and jet-setting around….you get the picture.
It’s kind of hard to LEARN from the person who is probably contributing greatly to WHY you feel like shit about yourself.
But, you know, that’s kinda on you, boo.
One of the other GLARING issues I take with Ms. Hollis is that she passes off issues like anxiety and depression as if they are simply trendy Instagram talking points and not, in many cases, pervasive medical issues that should be approached as such.
Mama, we have anxiety. We get the sads sometimes. Cute, neatly packaged anxiety and depression like everyone has and let me tell you how to beat it!
She talks about experiencing anxiety but that she, in so many words, pulled herself up by her leopard-print bootstraps and drank enough water and loved herself enough to beat it back.
All well and good, but it frames it in a way for the audience that if you can’t just beat back anxiety and depression with a good dose of marathon running and some new boobs, somehow that’s not worth even addressing. You are, likely, on another plane of broken and should just not bother signing up for day two, honey.
You are different.
Rachel Hollis is NOT a counselor. She’s not a physician. She’s not psychiatrist. She is completely Google-taught, she’ll be the first to tell you this. She doesn’t have one credential to her name that makes anything she says about mental health worth writing down in your rose gold leaf notebook.
But people did.
She doesn’t mention medication in her inspirational speech. She does, however, mention Xanax in her book. I think it’s framed more as a “Mommy’s Little Helper” than a lifeline, however.
To Hollis, mental illness sounds more like a character flaw….and if you just LOVED yourself enough….if you just BELIEVED in your dreams with enough gumption….it can be overcome.
The thing is, I believe that RACHEL believes she is doing something worthwhile here. She believes she is giving tangible advice. She believes she is helping people (though, I strongly feel she is really more interested in helping RACHEL than others at this point).
She says in the movie that she’s not “interested in fluffy Pinterest quote wisdom” but that is EXACTLY what she’s serving up and selling at obscene prices.
It’s great to have an idea. To WANT to inspire. But, girl, you STOLE quotes from other, better writers. You maybe moved a word around or two, but you built this little empire of yours on the BACKS of fluffy Pinterest quote wisdom. Make no mistake.
Throughout the viewing, I found myself AGREEING with a few of the nuggets she was throwing out from the stage. The problem is, none of these nuggets were anything worth $200 a ticket to hear. They can ALL be found….for free….on Pinterest. Rachel says HERSELF that these women don’t need her to reach their goals.
So, what are people paying for? They are paying for proximity to what they perceive to be greatness. Therein lies the real problem. It’s all a ruse.
I do believe that with some of the worthwhile ideas Rachel has in her arsenal (her talk about taking 1 hour, 5 days a week, to focus solely on yourself is something I’d like to dive more into personally), she could really do better.
I think this has ALL gotten the best of her. The Instagram fame. The viral nature of her work. The look. The feel. The acclaim. All of it. It has gotten the best of her in every way….where now she has stooped to complaining about her “fans” online, deleting well-meaning detractors, and ranting about “mean people” and waitresses that didn’t know who she was.
Yeah.
But, you know what. She’s a millionaire with a best selling book and I’m not, so what the hell do I know?
Rachel likes to say that “other people’s opinions of her are none of her business”. Well, actually, Rupaul likes to say that too…but that doesn’t really bother Rachel.
What Ms. Hollis is failing to grasp is that other people’s opinions are her MAIN business. It’s her ONLY business. If people’s opinion of her isn’t favorable…..if they don’t believe what they see and hear and want to BE her….she HAS no business.
She, as a brand, ceases to exist.
At the end of the movie, after the credits, Rachel gives a little “mini-class” of 5 actionable items to focus on in order to build a better life. These included groundbreaking revelations like keep your house clean, be healthy, get up earlier, etc.
Honestly, the whole movie should have just been this 30 minutes. FAR more worthwhile.
Of course, she then screwed the whole thing up by showing a commercial for her next book.
It just kept going and going.
Eventually I just wanted her to STOP. TALKING. She talked in circles….repeating herself ad nauseam. The same talking points. The same Pinterest words of wisdom.
Here’s the thing. My take-away, if you will.
I do not begrudge Rachel Hollis a career. I don’t even begrudge her selling education. She’s obviously a skilled marketer and people could learn a TON from her wisdom on selling her brand, social media, etc.
This is useful information.
What I do take issue with is her delving into areas where she is seeing a golden goose, whether she has the skill set or credentials to speak on that topic or not.
You can’t just copy Tony Robbins’ schtick and BAM, you’re a guru.
You can’t just tell people to drink more water and believe in themselves when there are REAL issues of depression, anxiety, and pervasive mental illness out there.
You can’t say you’re speaking to the “everywoman” out there when you’re only really speaking to a small percentage.
You can’t just take words from other people and slap your name on them…collect a paycheck…go back to your million dollar home and sleep well at night.
At least you shouldn’t.
About 2 years ago I started having a REAL problem with the NOISE of everything. I wanted AWAY. I wanted quiet. I wanted to stop worrying about hair, clothes, posting about my life because I chose a profession where apparently you have to do that or PERISH. Image was everything. Curation. Color scheme. Like me. Like my life. My house. My clothes. My kids. My relationship. My mommy tummy. Share it. like it. Make it viral.
Make me rich.
You’re yelling into a void just hoping you can yell LOUD enough to eek out a living.
Enter influencers.
Suddenly, it’s all there. Right in front of me.
I can have a million dollar home.
I can be debt free.
I can have regular shopping trips, hair extensions, lashes, and tans.
That girl has it and she says she’s JUST LIKE ME so that can be me too. I just have to want it enough. Dream hard enough. Get up at 5AM. Run on the treadmill. Drink that shake. Take that vitamin. I need to know what SHE knows
**** slaps down credit card *****
I have everything I want or need and sometimes I don’t feel like it’s enough.
I’m more insecure now at 38 than I was at 17.
At 17…I KNEW who I was. None of it mattered. It didn’t influence the way I earned a living.
The American Dream is wildly bastardized and I think people like Rachel Hollis have seized the opportunity to sell the new, albeit darker version.
We are in a desperate time where people my age and younger can’t REALLY obtain what generations before us did in terms of status, or savings….of debt free-living or upward mobility. The system is broken….but if you ask Rachel Hollis, only we are in charge of our station in life.
I used to believe this.
I used to think you are where you put yourself.
Maybe my issue with Rachel Hollis stems a little from guilt over prior thinking? Possible? Absolutely.
But, I know the system is broken. That the ability to dream is a privilege. That people like Rachel didn’t actually start from nothing. That Pinterest quotes are not going to change the world.
We are all just doing the best we can in the moment. Things like “Made for More” showing up on our TV’s….our phones….our feeds….it’s toxic and I can only hold out hope that, perhaps, one person will read this and find other ways of motivating themselves for change.
May I suggest Pinterest?
I mean, if anything, it saves you two hours of time.
Fractured Thoughts.
(There be Amazon affiliate links below, just as a heads up)
Currently Spinning: I made myself a Broadway compilation for the car. Includes all my favorite sing-a-longs like Les Mis, Little Shop of Horrors, The Music Man, Hamilton (natch), Wicked, Dreamgirls, and Hairspray to name a few. It has served quite well in embarrassing the kiddos on drives. But I still got it!
I got the In the Heights vinyl box set for Christmas but have yet to find any time to listen to it…..such is life, I suppose.
Currently Watching: Well, This Is Us is FINALLY back (Yeah. I’m basic.) and I’ve had WatchMojo.com lists playing in the background as I work and clean during the day. We finally saw Hereditary and at the risk of alienating apparently EVERYONE ON EARTH who adored that movie, I found it to be a heap-ton of stupid. I did NOT get the hype on that AT. ALL.
THE ORVILLE….omg, have you seen this? I will be the first to admit I thought it was going to be full of fart jokes and stupid asides like American Dad or something, but I was so wrong. It’s a smartly written, warm comedy and since Seth McFarland is also easy on the eyes, it makes for some good TV on Thursday nights. Plus, the husband likes it too, so that helps.
Did get out to see Mary Poppins Returns though, SO much better (that Hereditary….that is)! I’m a musical girl at heart (Lin’s inclusion hurt nothing). Took Betty to see it and then during the polar vortex I got Molly out to see it. She’s been obsessed with the soundtrack ever since.
Also got a chance to see Bohemian Rhapsody……it was….ok. I LOVE a good rock bio pic but the beginning of this movie was so chock full of bio-pic tropes I almost turned it off. End was better. It’s really not Oscar-worthy though.
Currently Reading: I picked up #GIRLBOSS again, just for some motivation. I absolutely DESPISE the term “Girlboss”, but the book is pretty decent and I think I was the only person on Earth who REALLY enjoyed the Netflix show. Also got How to Be A Person in the World by Heather Havrilesky for Christmas, which was very good. Love her writing style. Next book I’ll be picking up is Bright-sided: How Positive Thinking Is Undermining America
by Barbara Ehrenreich, who is my FAVORITE sociological writer. She also did Nickle and Dimed and Bait and Switch, two of my favorite books.
I survived Christmas. We all survived Christmas in our new house, hosting both Christmas Eve and Christmas Morning. (I made meatballs….they were insanely good, if I do say so myself)
The hubby got me a weighted blanket, which I REALLY like, and a poster of Lin for the basement. Not a fan girl at all. Nope. Not me.
Hey, at the least the husband is all right with it. I’ve taught Bridget to say “Hi, Lin!” every time she passes the poster.We also weathered the POLAR. VORTEX…..which plunged temps to -55 at one point with the windchill. The kids were home for 7 days straight AND couldn’t go outside….the husband was home…my routine was in complete disarray. It was chaos. But. We lived.
The New Year came and I was glad. I was not a big fan of 2018 as a WHOLE….and I have high hopes that 2019 is going to be a great year professionally and personally.
So that was pretty much my NYE: Cross stitch, Disney NYE celebration on TV, and, of course, ringing in 2019 with a wide-awake Bridgie.
Have you seen Eighth Grade? The Bo Burnham movie? Go get it. Go out and watch it. It is SO good. SO damn good. I watched it with Betty, even though there are a few questionable spots. It’s worth the conversations that are derived from the movie as a whole.
Jayme Closs, the missing girl from Northern WI, was FOUND. ALIVE. This is incredible….if you’re in WI all you’ve seen for months is missing flyers and billboards and I think a lot of people were losing hope. It’s amazing she rescued herself and I hope she has a strong foundation at home to get her through what will likely be a long road to recovery. I did read they’re going to give her the $50,000 in reward $$, so that’s good.
I shot a promotional video for my Senior Portraits. Ok, the husband shot it. I just stood there and tried not to be awkward. It’s the first one I had done since 2012? 2013 I think….something like that. It’s over on the About Me page so make sure to check it out!
Bridgie said her FIRST full sentence (“Come on, let’s go play) and I LEGIT burst into tears. I can’t believe she is my last baby forever and ever. That went way to fast and I want ALL of my baby years back. Right now. I tell my husband all the time if my body could have handled birth better (pregnancy was a-ok….birth, not so much. I developed emergency level HBP with both Molly and Bridgie)….I would have had a few more kids. But, alas….not to be. I love my muppets….they grow up SO fast though.
We lost both Carol Channing & Penny Marshall. :(
I am launching some GINORMOUS things in 2019. This is going to be my year to do things differently. To stop being afraid of new. To TRY it and see. So, I’ve decided to launch a portal for folks to learn about photography and business ownership online called TYPE A CAMP.
My flagship course, The Wedding Newbies Course, was released to the Beta Testers just yesterday and will be unleashed later this week to all. It’s my hope that the whole site will be about affordable, accessible ways to learn new photography skills, information about running a full-time or part-time photography business, and just a fun place to visit for guidance.
This is SO outside of my regular parameters, so I’m nervous….but REALLY excited.
I’m also looking to fill in some last 2019 dates and booking weddings into 2020. I’m currently running a big incentive for anyone who books before Valentine’s Day, so jump on that!
Also, SENIORS…it’s CLASS of 2020’s time and the earlier you reserve your date, the better!
You Can't Be What They Are
I’m old.
I mean, for this industry.
I’ve tried explaining this to my husband several times (he who disagrees with me).
I’ve tried telling him I have a bit of an uphill battle because I shoot high school seniors and people getting married….neither of whom are typically in my age group.
You know what’s creepy? People my age who try to “relate” to younger folks.
”Hey there, fellow young people!” * dab * “I heard you cool cats needed some photography that was on fleek…..word, fam…..” * floss *
I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that I’m gonna be 40. And that’s ok.
That I’m still pretty into early 90s hard rock music and Swedish doom metal.
And I’m a chick.
And that’s ok.
That I love historical biographies, true crime TV, and living history museums.
And that’s ok.
That waking up, throwing on a concert T-shirt and a pair of worn jeans and saying “eff it, who needs makeup” is pretty par for the course lately.
And that’s ok…..I think. (I kinda have to put some makeup on if I’m going to see other people. I’m Irish and Swiss….we are a pasty people)
I see lists of influential people….I see that people who really “make it” on social media….I see popular photographers and writers and creatives….and they’re beautiful people. They’re stylish. They’re COOL. They may SAY they’re not…but they are. They know it.
They are the adult equivalent of the trendy table in the high school cafeteria.
And I’m still over in the corner drawing band logos on my bad poetry notebook.
I told myself at the dawn of 2019 that I was done trying to be what the rules of social media success SAID I needed to be. That I wasn’t going to be ANOTHER nondescript face in a sea of photographers…..
Let’s face it, the MAJORITY of us in the wedding photography (or senior photography) industry are talented. Photography, in and of itself, is not that hard. (Yeah, I said it).
There are a select few in the industry who are exceptionally talented and, therefore, it doesn’t MATTER what they’re like as a person….or how cool they are. Their work is their work and people will clamor for it. They don’t even need to learn WTF “bae” means.
(I know what bae means. I swear. It was an answer on Jeopardy the other day. Which means it’s jumped the shark. You’re welcome.)
But for the rest of us? The rest of us competent photographers out here scratching out a living? We are all just waving our arms hoping you notice us.
And yeah….I’ve never been terribly good at that. I’ve never been good at faking anything. I yam who I yam.
Like Popeye.
(See, Amanda, Popeye references is why you’ll never be cool. FFS.)
So, 2019 is going to be the year I just do it anyway. That I realize I have something to offer even if it’s packaged differently. That I can say what I want to say and do what I want to do….and if people don’t quite care for it, there’s literally thousands of other competent photographers out there to serve them.
But 2019 is my year. The year for the nerd to inherit.
And, as the kids say, I’m here for it.
My husband took this. To get me to laugh….he said the magic words: “Skunk Butt Rug”
10 MORE Things Wedding Photographers Want You to Know
So, in 2014 I wrote a blog.
In 2016 I moved it over to this here blog and reposted it.
Now I’m tweaking it for the newly engaged out there….and the new wedding industry.
One thing we can count on: this industry is CONSTANTLY in flux.
When I first started, yellow-stained everything was REALLY in vogue (remember that? Pee-pictures. Yeah….not our high point artistically) and I could book up 32 weddings easy-peasy.
The times….oh, they are a changin’. You ain’t kidding, Bob.
So here’s 10 More Things. Add ‘em to the list.
(And if you want to check out the original blog post, hop over HERE: http://www.typeaimages.com/blog/2016/5/25/25-things-wedding-photographers-wish-you-knew-wisconsin-wedding-photographer)
We WANT You to Do Your Research
Here’s the thing, unless we’ve been sticking our heads in the sand for the last 5 or so years, we know how saturated the market is. According to statistics (thank you SLR Lounge) there are roughly 100,000 wedding photographers in the US. Hell, over 1000 in the Chicagoland area ALONE. That’s absolutely INSANE.
I mean, think of how we must feel? That’s a crap-load of competition.
So, we don’t want you thinking we are all one-in-the-same. A lot of us work VERY hard to differentiate ourselves. We want you to notice, to compare, and to make our effort to stand out worth it.We Want You to Let Someone Else Worry About It
There is nothing more frustrating than a really wound up bride or groom that you can’t calm down. Especially if it’s over something pretty inconsequential that just will not MATTER in the long run. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a billion times: once the day is set into motion, you ain’t stoppin’ that train.
RELAX……and let someone else handle it.We Want You to Get Ready Someplace CLEAN
We TOTALLY get the whole “church basement daycare” room that apparently passes as a Bridal Room on Saturdays. I’ve shot in PLENTY of rooms where clowns stared back at me from the concrete walls. Not ideal. But, dammit, I’m a professional.
HOWEVER, you can do your part by making the area CLEAN….keep your stuff in one area and then I won’t have to move a bunch of stuff or shoot around it. I’ll do my part by finding the best, neutral area for getting ready…..or move you to another spot.
4. We Want You to Notice that Personality TOTALLY Matters
When you’re choosing a plumber, or an electrician, or….you know…whatever…some other service provider you DON’T have to spend a whole day with, personality may not matter much. I mean, my auto guy may be gruff and rough and tumble but he changes oil like a champ.
But, when it comes to your wedding photographer, it TOTALLY matters if they’re an asshole. From first meeting, to the day of, to how they interact with you afterwards.
Luckily, the days of the crabby old wedding photographer with the photo vest, flash bracket, and a chip on his shoulder are coming to a bitter end…..and the up-and-coming generation understands that a large part of their job is to be LIKABLE. (I’m SO gonna get it for calling out the flash bracket users…lol)
So, make sure you at least speak with your potential photographer on the phone (even though some of them may hate the phone….I’ll live)….and see if your personalities jive well. You don’t want to spend all day with some crab-ass that is going to snap at people and be all sulky.
5. We Want You to Stop Forcing Poses
Look, I get the appeal of a big old list of Pinterest poses. I like to look at a client’s Pinterest list. I even ASK for it at our meetings. Nothing else really gives me AS good of a peek into their dream for their big day. However, recreating exact poses from “popular pins” is difficult. For one, it’s not natural. AT ALL. Two, it may not look exactly like your example and then we run the risk of disappointing you. Three, a lot of those poses are outdated and have been done a BAZILLION times and that really takes away from YOUR story.
That being said, if your life isn’t going to be complete without a jumping shot….Imma let you do the jumping shot because I’m not an ogre. You do you.
6. We Want You to Unplug Your Wedding
We may say we don’t care. Maybe. But, having everyone and their Uncle Bob with their devices out at a ceremony is SO distracting. It looks bad…sometimes it SOUNDS bad (some people haven’t figured out how to turn the sound down on their phones….I’m looking at YOU, Aunt Barb)……and in pictures it’s always a major eyesore.
You invited these folks because you want them to WITNESS your marriage, not stare at their phones. I could get into a whole rant about people not being able to put their phones away for just a moment and BE, but I won’t…..
So maybe consider unplugging your ceremony, at the very least. Put a notice in the program, a sign at the aisle, or have your officiant remind folks to turn off their phones and just BE in the moment.
Trust me….I gotcha.
7. We Want You to Understand that Candid Moments are Just That
Try as you might, you CAN. NOT. manufacture beautiful, candid moments. So, when someone hands me a Pinterest list full of dads crying at the sight of their daughters or grooms losing their shit at the altar…..I start to worry….that is not your story, I can’t MAKE that happen. Some grooms are stoic….some dads are just not criers…..some moments are just not going to happen as wonderful as it may be.
What I CAN guarantee you is I will spend the day seeking out that story. YOUR story. Because that’s my job. And your story is beautiful. AS beautiful as those Pins.
8. We Worry About Pricing
Seriously, if you were to take a peek into our super-secret-photo-group-boards, you’d see a whole lot of questions about PRICING. We worry. We do. For a lot of us, this is our livelihood and we know that people are on a budget and price is a huge consideration when booking. We are also reading a butt-load of blogs that tell us to “charge what we are worth”….we are competing with a ton of photographers right in our same price range….we are concerned about reaching the “right” clients. It’s HARD….especially when all most of us want to do is WORK.
So, we want you to know we POUR over the numbers (at least most of us do)….in hopes of finding that good equilibrium between charging what our work is worth and being accessible for modern couples.
9. Trust Us if We Come Up With Some Super Whack Idea
Super whack ideas often result in some of my favorite images. For example, for the picture below I suggested we pop into the cruddy little laundromat that was NEXT to the Country Club where the couple was getting married.
The result? Pretty bad ass, if I do say so myself. Thankfully, the couple TOTALLY rolled with it.
We are wedding photographers, at the end of the day, because many of us are creatives. Enter super whack ideas.
10. We Want You to Print Your Pictures
I still have a old, gritty copy of my grandparent’s wedding portrait. It’s torn to pieces and someone, probably my grandfather, in the 70s or something tried to piece it back together with tape…which is all yellowed and gross now. But, it’s THERE. My grandparents. Two of the people I loved most in the world….who are now gone.
In 30, 40, 50 years…what will be your legacy? A picture on an obsolete device? Yes, I am going to give you your digitals. That’s what I do. But I urge you to get prints, get a beautiful, large canvas, get an album…..create an heirloom for those who come after you.
It’s engagement season, so hopefully this list will help folks who are wading into the super muddy waters of wedding planning. I know when I set out to book a wedding photographer I was CLUELESS.
It’s my hope that this helps and I welcome any comments, questions, and especially shares!
If you’d like to talk to Type A about your wedding coverage, fill out the contact form and let’s get to talkin’
CONTACT TYPE A
How to Ruin Your Photography Business
I like to read vendor reviews.
I’m a little odd like that. Because typically the language in them makes me all anxious. Words like “disappointed”, “furious”, or “terrible”. These are not even reviews directed at me and they make me sad and terrified for the future of all small businesses.
Mostly because I know what a bad review can do. I’ve seen it. In the wild. I’ve seen the internet mobs descend and it is terrifying.
So, over 10 years in business I’ve always tried to keep myself on the up-and-up regarding what clients WANT. What makes people happy? How can I best serve people?
Just the thought of making a client unhappy makes my blood run cold. I hate the idea of disappointing a client, at any turn.
But, I’m human. And human beings are, if anything, entirely fallible. We are going to screw up at some point. We all do. We mess up an order, we forget something, the work is not as incredible as it could be. IT HAPPENS.
To everyone.
And if you’re thinking there are perfect people out there who have never screwed up in business….I have a bridge I’d like to sell ya, dude.
But, there’s screwing up and making it right….and then there’s MURDERING your business.
I’ve seen that too….and it’s always very sad to watch. So, I thought I would write up a quick how to guide….so you know what behavior you know to stay FAR away from.
(Note: Most of this is wedding and portrait photography specific in my own little head….but can be applied to any small business really. )
NEVER IMPROVE YOUR PRODUCT OR SERVICE
You should ALWAYS be learning, growing, and improving. If you think you’ve made it….now I can rest on my laurels and keep churning out the same thing year after year….you’re going to run into problems. Even restaurants that have been open for eons have to add things to the menu to stay relevant.
If you are a newbie and you just want to get to a point where your work is simply “acceptable”, you’re barking up the wrong business tree.
I always want to learn new things, always want to improve what I can offer folks, and I always want to do MORE and do BETTER.
2. OVERPROMISE AND UNDERDELIVER
Look, I accepted it and so should you: We are ALL in an industry that is very crowded (photography in general). The low barrier to hanging out your shingle means that when someone is looking for a wedding photographer or portrait photographer, they are confronted with so many options that I don’t know why EVERYONE doesn’t just elope or forego choosing all together. It can be major choice fatigue.
This can cause us to want to offer people the MOON. Pick me and I’ll give you what that other guy won’t !
This is SUPER tempting, especially when you’re face-to-face at a consult….but it’s folly and let me tell you why:
You’re going to get overwhelmed with what you promised….some promises can never be kept no matter how good your intentions are. You’re going to forget what you promised to whom. It’s a hot mess waiting to happen.
The old customer service adage stands true: underpromise and OVERdeliver. Promise what you know you can offer up…and then blow folks away with your level of service and artistry. Throw in something extra in the end. But, know your limits.
3. BE A TERRIBLE COMMUNICATOR
I will be the first to tell you that I am a little…well, Type A….when it comes to communication. The thought of someone waiting for me to get back to them gives me literal hives. I’m allergic to it.
I once had someone email me and say “Why haven’t you responded?!”….turns out their email had slipped by in the midst of others and gotten accidentally deleted. I was mortified and I thought about it ALL week….how that client thought they didn’t matter.
That’s how our clients feel when we don’t communicate with them. I cannot TELL you how many reviews I’ve read where clients get completely ghosted by their photographers (or any service provider…..ever tried to build a house? Oy.) And I get it…LIFE happens. People we love get sick, they die, we get divorced, our kids get sick….that’s LIFE. But, I also know this is my livelihood and part of that is TALKING to my CLIENTS (and potential clients…..seriously folks, if someone inquires with you…EMAIL THEM BACK!)
4. BE EVEN WORSE IN PERSON
This kind of goes along with being a bad communicator…..but, if you are a socially inept creepy person…maybe photography isn’t the gig for you.
How do you KNOW if you are a socially inept creepy person? Well, you probably don’t…..but when at a wedding, directing and getting along with folks….making grandma happy and having the dad smile at you and give you a thumbs up…these things should just HAPPEN.
Are you getting feedback that you’re rude, impersonal, or (like I read on a few reviews) your hygiene isn’t up to par (I know!? What?!)…then it’s time for a MAJOR personal overhaul….and perhaps a new line of work.
Photography…hell, customer service in general….is a very social game. And, believe me….I am NOT the person who eases into these situations with the grace of some socialite or something. It takes WORK….I’m horribly introverted at times and I know it.
Self-awareness is HUGE if you don’t want to murder your business.
5. BE SLOWER THAN A TURTLE STUCK IN GORILLA GLUE
So here’s the thing….there’s kind of an ongoing debate, especially with regards to weddings, on turn-around. Some say quick (and quality of course) is great because the couple are still in that wonderful glow of “We just got married!!!”. Some are in the camp of up to 12 weeks or more before turn around because they are delivering a bespoke type product that takes lots of time and effort to perfect.
And I totally understand both arguments. I do.
When it comes to delivering my products, I always think “What would I want”?
When we got married (before Facebook was even really a thing)….it took us WAY longer than what was promised to us to get our wedding pictures. We waited months….and when we finally did get them all we got was a Staples DVD with our named written on it (misspelled) in black magic marker. Most of the images were not even edited. So, I’m not sure what was taking so long.
I learned a LOT from that experience…..and I never want my clients to feel the way I felt. Like I wasn’t worth any effort.
A lot of the complaints I read online are from people who either NEVER got their images (holy. crap.) or got them a LONG time after their session or event.
This comes back to promises and delivery. Be HONEST with what you can handle. Don’t disappear.
And if you get in a pickle and you scheduled WAY too much for yourself and can’t keep up, you need to contact EACH CLIENT and explain that to them.
Which leads me to…..
6. BE A LOUDMOUTH ON THE INTERNET
I have a big mouth. If something bugs me, I’m likely going to write about it. Because dammit, I’m a writer! (I swear, I am…even if just in my own head). But, I know my limits.
But, if a client gives you a bad review….or you fall behind…or something negative happens with regards to your business….for the LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY keep that shit off Facebook. Seriously. Don’t write some pages-long diatribe about how “you’re a person too” or about how hard you work blah blah blah. Because here’s the thing, dude. NO ONE CARES. All your clients care about is how they didn’t get what they paid for. Plain and simple. Some big non-personal Facebook novel isn’t going to ease minds. If you have time to do all of that, you have time to get your business shit together.
If you screwed up, talk to the client involved about that PERSONALLY. If they take to the internets to smear your name, talk to them PERSONALLY. If you need to respond to a false review, do so succinctly and professionally. If you can’t handle that…hire someone for you who can. It’s THAT important.
If they tell Yelp that you gave someone AIDS (yes….this HAPPENED to a photographer!) then sue the pants off of them.
And win.
But, stay classy online. People are watching.
7. BE A NO GOOD DIRTY THIEF
There is a line that must not be crossed with regards to the creative arts….and that line is plagiarism and photo theft. This happens more often than you might think (my friend has made an entire SITE out of people who steal photos! Check it out @ http://stopstealingphotos.com/)
But, there are plenty of people….newbies and famous “rockstar photographers” alike who seem to think that line moves with them…or doesn’t exist at all.
If you need portfolio fodder….then do free shoots like the rest of us did….or set up a styled shoot. If you want to write a blog but you’re a shit writer, hire a writer. Or don’t write a blog…do something else.
If you want to be an inspirational thought-leader on Instagram….don’t do it by stealing the quotes of others.
Just, be kind. Seriously.
8. BE SUPER CHEAP
When you are super cheap you’re going to be REALLY busy….and that’s going create a false sense of security that you are either A. Really good at photography or B. Really doing something right.
Neither are likely true. If you are REALLY good, you’re going to want to raise your prices just to get to the clients that REALLY appreciate your efforts and level of creativity. If you’re really doing something right, it will be easier to maintain than the onslaught of cheap clients coming your way is going to be.
You don’t want to be the guy that was hired SIMPLY because he underbid everyone else. Then what you produce starts to not matter so much….and that is NOT why you got into this game.
Am I saying you need luxury level pricing? God no. But, you need to be in line with what is industry standard. Otherwise, a trickle down affect is going to happen. Clients are going to start to wonder why EVERYONE isn’t “$50 and files”…..and they’re either going to maintain that EVERYONE ELSE is far too expensive….or that there’s a good reason you’re so cheap and that reason is you suck.
Neither of these are good outcomes.
If you need help establishing living-wage pricing, think about getting a mentor that can assist you with the financial side of your business.
9. BE TOO BIG FOR THOSE BRITCHES OF YOURS
There are some shooters out there who can just be ON.
They are world-renown….everyone loves them….they have a bajillion followers and when they fart people plunk down money to find out exactly why it smells like lavender and looks like rainbow puffs.
That is about 0.01% of us.
The rest of us are service providers who need to check ourselves before we literally wreck ourselves.
This mean have GUIDELINES but being flexible when it makes sense to be.
This means if you’re at work….you’re at work….and if you don’t get seated in a preferable seat during dinner, maybe you should just let that go…because you are not the priority (I’ve totally eaten crouched in a corner like Gollum…let’s be honest, I eat in about 6 minutes flat and then it’s back to the coal mines). Maybe don’t down several glasses of beer from the bar? Maybe…..
This means if someone comes to you with a complaint about images….as PAINFUL AS THIS IS….look at the work and really consider if you offered up your best before digging in your heels.
This is all very difficult.
I get this. And I am by no means saying that you can’t have things in your business you won’t stand for. I’ve weathered some particularly nasty situations in the past that have led to major contract changes (for one, you gotta feed me…or at least let me go get food….this after I suffered through a 10 hour shoot with nothing but cocktail cherries).
And I totally get that some people can NOT be pleased. No matter what. You need to protect yourself if you can and you DO need to learn to stand by your work when it’s warranted.
But maybe ask yourself if you’re being difficult too? It’s a two way street, this service thing….
In all honesty, to me anyway, I find businesses a hard kill. I think you have to try pretty hard to be terrible. I get that some folks just don’t have “it”….but in so many way, “it” is simply common sense.
How do YOU want to be treated?
How do YOU want to be served?
Apply that with every interaction. If it’s wrong, make it right. Realize some criticism can be constructive (I need to work on this SO much, I take criticism to heart and it tends to ruin my entire LIFE for at least a few days, no matter how minor it may be).
You LOVE your business like it is a living, breathing entity so TREAT it as such…..and don’t murder it.
Want to learn how to shoot weddings? Maybe you’ve WANTED to but you’re kind of freaked out by the whole concept?
I’m putting together a comprehensive E-Workshop that will help you break into the wedding world with aplomb.
Hop up to the top of the page and sign up for TYPE A MAIL. You’ll get a nice freebie PLUS you’ll be the first to know when the Wedding E-Workshop is LIVE! You’ll be able to download it and soak it in on YOUR time!