I Say Uncle ~ Wisconsin Photographer

So, yesterday I came home from another long day at work ( a mix of slinging records and editing in between) to find a few school notes and a “Little Poms” t-shirt on our kitchen counter.

Little poms…..Little Poms? OH YEAH, Betty wanted to do Little Poms this year. Why are they giving her the t-shirt now? I thought to myself. That shizz don’t kick off until March.

Um…think again, unorganized Mama.

The performance is Thursday. As in TOMORROW. And guess who missed the rehearsal? This girl right here. So, my little innocent red head who so badly wants to pom it up was going to be woefully unprepared for her performance this week because I’m a moron and couldn’t write down one simple schedule.

Thank God for You Tube. We You Tubed the dance and Betty and I “pom’d” it up in front of the TV for a good 45 minutes last night. I think I jammed my toe trying to demonstrate a proper cheerleading jump.

I think my ego and my heart were bruised more.

I felt like a terrible mom. Because of our schedules it’s not like my kids get to participate in a litany of after-school activities. Little Poms was pretty much the one thing Betty specifically asked to do this year.

And I nearly completely screwed that up.

My kids spend most of their time at school/daycare or with their grandparents. Such is the life of a family whose parents hold down three jobs, two of which are self-run businesses. I get daily reminders of how I could be screwing my kids up for life because of this choice to be self-employed two times over.

“Mommy, play with me”
“Mom, you have to go to work AGAIN?”

“Mom, you’re ALWAYS on your computer”
Reminders from other adults in my life that our schedules are insanity and we need to back it off. Reminders from my own body that I’m burning the candle at both ends and I’m not taking care of myself (says the bronchitis that lasted WAY too long). Completely convincing myself that the reason my 4 year old won’t get completely potty trained and my 7 year old rolls her eyes at me in the morning is because I work too much.  Angry calls from my eye doctor because I missed a follow up appointment (whoops). Letters from my regular doctor that threatens to drop me because I showed up at our appointment at the wrong time.  My car is 4000 miles past needing an oil change. Lord knows when that’ll happen.

I’ve never been an unorganized schedule keeper, ever. I’m efficient….that’s my “thing”. Type A and all that. But, I’ve also always seemed to laugh in the face of time. The laws of time are MINE and they will obey ME and all that (geek reference….sorry). But, it’s simply not true. I have 24 hours each day to cram in as much stuff as possible…..and even with all the help we get things can go terribly awry. I’m not superwoman, as much as I’d like to pretend that I am all hours of the day. I can’t always say Yes…..and I have to start being able to say Yes to the right people (namely, my kids) and learn that it’s okay, sometimes, to say No when something is just not possible to finish….or to even start.

I know there are others out there like me. I know there are perfectionists who look in the mirror each morning and say to themselves “No failures……you’re going to kick this day’s ass….let’s do this”….and when things unravel your sanity unravels along with it.

I’ve found in the last year I haven’t done much that I’ve ENJOYED…..for myself. I’ve been working at a break-neck pace and even when I was in NYC I was so worried about cramming in as much “adventure” as possible that there wasn’t much stopping and breathing. Am I even CAPABLE of stopping and just breathing? Not sure. I am simply the type that has to have 400 things going on at one time to feel whole. It’s a gigantic character flaw.

My point? My point is resolution. My point is focus. My point is learning that no, I do not have to take on 10 sessions a week every week in between running the store and trying to be Mom and Wife. I just don’t. That’s the point of running my own business, correct? I have to make the choices? GET to make the choices?

So in 2015 I’m going to scale it back. Mark my words, folks. I adore shooting seniors and I really want to focus on that. I adore shooting weddings and I really want to focus on that as well. But perhaps in smaller slices.

My kids need me….I know this…I need to be around to catch their everydays because someday those will be gone. Someday will be the day I carry Molly around on my hip for the last time and I don’t want to miss that because I had to rush off to something else. Someday Betty will no longer want me to kiss her goodnight or jump around the living room doing cheerleading routines.

I love work. I thrive on work….I need problems! I need things to figure out! Its my ingrained nature…..but I also need a little of the other stuff too.

I really hope, pray, wish, and yearn for clarity and peace in 2015. For myself and for everyone else in my well-worn shoes.

(On that note, I’m suspending Friday Fractured Thoughts for right now……I’ll be just blogging randomly…..having a set day was too much pressure. End of an era and all that. To everything, a season….turn turn turn. LOL)

New York City Photo Plus Expo 2014

October was rough. Hell, 2014 was rough. If I’m being honest, I’m not sure I have ever come closer to complete and total burn out since I started Type A in 2008.

I was taking on more and more with each passing month: triple the seniors I photographed the year before, more second shooting gigs, the store opening, more editorial assignments. All things I chased….but it left me pretty exhausted and road-weary by October.

I developed a slight love affair with NYC when my husband and I visited in 2012. It’s just such a magical city. That’s the best way I can describe it. It’s the perfect place for a semi-introvert….because even with the millions of people, you can be anonymous. You blend seamlessly into the furious motion of the day and within that tornado you can BREATHE. It’s like being in the calm epicenter of a whirlpool. Everything is chaos around you, yet you can just be.

It’s what I loved the most. That and the opportunity around every corner…the options…the lights….yeah, it’s safe to say I adore that city.

So, when I heard about the PhotoPlus Expo in NYC I decided to break my streak of NEVER going to conventions and attend.

When I read that Dan Winters was giving one of the seminars, I knew come hell or high water I had to get there. He’s one of my all-time favorite portrait artists.

I’m not a very well-seasoned traveler….so I had this completely irrational fear of not being able to find my plane once I got to the airport.

So what does Type A girl do? Type A girl gets there 5 hours early.

I found my plane.

My first full day in New York I had switched out my first seminar to see Cliff Mautner instead of Michael Grecco. Mostly because Michael Grecco is a portrait artist and I figured if I was going to get the most out of seminars I should probably throw a wedding photographer in there somewhere.

Cliff’s seminar was pretty good. Lots of good advice from his over 30 years in the business. Always good to take away some nuggets from those who have weathered all the storms.

One of the guys I was really looking forward to seeing was Joe McNally. So much so that I signed up not only for his Seminar but his Master Class. Well worth it. Joe is the master of light manipulation and one of my major influences with use of flash and big lights. His seminar was all TTL based (which I do not use) but the idea behind flash position, etc. is the same, so I learned quite a bit.

And he took my picture (helped I came to the seminar wearing a 16% grey sweatshirt). So that was cool.

That night I wandered down to Times Square. I didn’t stay long, it’s not really my speed. But, I figured might as well see what’s up. Lots of whoremongers, apparently.

On the walk back to my hotel I passed a place called Infinity Tattoo. Being that I was on vacation and feeling a bit spontaneous, I decided to jump in and see if they take walk ins.

30 minutes later (no joke) I was walking out with new ink.

Times Square is kind of a “crowd-phobic’s” worst nightmare. I enjoy it in very very small doses. That’s about it.

On Friday (Halloween) I got up super early to go to the 9/11 Museum. Last time we were in NY it wasn’t completed yet so I was pretty excited about seeing the final product.

It was really well done. Very stirring. Very quiet and contemplative. I was glad I went.

That afternoon I took Mr. McNally’s master class, which was all about large light sources. Made me realize I need to spend some more money. LOL.

It’s always nice to be around people who are obsessed with light modifiers as you are. The “Ooooh’s” and “Ahhh’s” that came up from the crowd every time light was modified a different way was pretty funny. What a bunch of geeks. These were my people.

That evening I decided to have dinner at whatever place I could find that sounded interesting and then photograph some Halloween revelers in the city.

However, my interesting dinner space (Aya Sushi) turned out cutting my night short as I became violently ill after eating there.

So yeah. Aya Sushi…not sure if I’d recommend it. : )

That was pretty much the only sore spot of my trip, so I’ll take it.

Saturday was pretty much the best day ever. Dan Winters seminar in the morning was almost a religious experience, seriously. I’m not being facetious. The man is a moving speaker and had some wonderful insights into creativity and work and life in general.

What struck me MOST about Mr. Winters didn’t happen during his talk, however. It happened afterwards. He was selling his new book, The Road to Seeing, outside of the room (pick this book up, its incredible so far). So, folks naturally lined up to have him sign their purchased copy. I had Ben Folds’ keynote to get to, so after standing in line for about 15 minutes without it moving I decided I didn’t need to meet Mr. Winters….his talk had been enough….and I scurried off to see Ben.

More on Ben in a second, but after Ben’s hour long key note….I left the room and there was Mr. Winters….talking to EACH and EVERY person who was having their book signed at length. He hadn’t moved.

I ran upstairs to get some food, came back, and he was still there.

All in all, Dan Winters….portrait artist of some of the biggest, most famous names in the WORLD….sat in a hallway of a convention center for over TWO HOURS talking to each person who wanted an autograph. It was pretty stellar. He listened intently to each person’s story and gave upbeat and humble feedback. It was just a joy to even watch. That solidified it for me. He’s my favorite.

So, once the line just dwindled to nothing and I noticed he had a sandwich sitting there untouched, I hopped in a the end….the second to last person to approach him.

“You don’t have to talk to me, you can just sign the book. You have a sandwich to eat!” I said. To DAN.WINTERS. Oy.

He chuckled and asked where I was from. After I told him I came from Wisconsin pretty much just to see him speak, he laughed and said that was so great and I made his day…..WTF. Surreal. Surreal is what that was. That dude. His work. His artistry. Seriously.
So getting back to pre-Dan run-in I went and listened to Ben Folds’ keynote presentation. Not only is he a kick-ass musician but a photographer as well and he showed some of his work. It was a great presentation (he’s a funny dude) and afterwards I got to meet him, have my picture taken (it’s gross, but hey….I’ll take it. It’s Ben).

I was on such a high after the Ben/Dan afternoon that I was pretty worn out. I was supposed to take a posing seminar with Lindsey Adler but about halfway through it I found myself nodding off (no fault of Lindsey’s at all, I was just exhausted). So as not to be completely rude and fall asleep, I snuck out the back and went to an early dinner.

It was a good day. I needed that. I needed a day just peppered with happy all over the place. It had been a long time.

That is not to say I live in some black hole of unhappiness. Quite the contrary. I live in a world of a lot of rushing, stress, exhaustion, kids who need more of my attention than I’ve been able to give them lately, and just LIFE in general. I needed a DAY. A day that was all about unhinged joy.

To me, unhinged joy is being able to meet and bask in the knowledge of some of my heroes…..then head on down to Greenwich for a little record shop browsing and a farm to table bistro.

Then I get back to my hotel and find out Benedict Cumberbatch is on Graham Norton.

No joke. Seriously. Best day ever.

I didn’t really want to leave so soon but I knew I had to. I knew too many more days and I would grow weary of the hustle, bustle (and, let’s face it, weirdo trash/food smell of downtown New York).

But I feel like I got a chance to really get back to the CRUX of why I do what I do for a living. Why I’ve chosen to work for myself. Why I still, after a handful of years, get a thrill out of a picture that goes the way I saw it in my head. I was able to be around others for nearly a week who feel the same way I do about softboxes, and gritty black and whites, and the way Dan Winters can light a subject. We are people who are unapologetic geeks about our craft.

It is so so SO damn easy to get wrapped up in the SMALL. The noise. The things that just don’t freaking matter.

As I was sitting there listening to Joe McNally speak, I wondered in the back of my head “I have to wonder if he even gives a shit if one of his pictures gets 100 likes or not”?

Of course he doesn’t. He has bigger fish to fry. Like paying jobs that send him all over the world.

Same with Dan. Same with some of the other folks there. As photographers we tend to live in the now….and we LIVE for the “atta boys”. The accolades. The folks jumping on our pages and telling us how AMAZING our work is. We revel in it as it happens, but when it’s over and we don’t receive more….it can lead to a bit of a spiral into the “I sucks”.

I was struggling with that. Letting social media determine my worth as an photographer. Which is ridiculous. As Ryan Brenizer said…..there’s a hedgehog on Instagram that has more fans and likes and followers than you will EVER have. EVER. No joke. A hedgehog.

I’m printing out a picture of that stupid hedgehog and putting it up as a reminder that it just DOESN’T MATTER.

People are fickle. People are strange. People will like a lot of weird things. Facebook/Instagram/Twitter……in the long run, these things may help drive and distribute your work….but they shouldn’t DETERMINE your work….that’s on you.

It’s on me.

I curled up the last night in NYC and I started to read Mr. Winters’ book. In it he doesn’t talk about how to be popular on Facebook or get the most reTweets or any of that garbage. He talks about reconnecting with life….with his family…..with finding his place and speaking the truth. Things organically happen for the better for people like Dan because they focused on what mattered and ignored what didn’t. I’m sure of it.

I have a very long way to go. But my own “Road to Seeing” definitely had a long layover in New York City this week….and it was a very important part of the journey. I know what kind of business owner/photographer/artist/mom/wife/person that I want to be, I just have to take the necessary steps towards arriving there. I may never get there.

But it’s a single step….and that’s a start.

Until next time NYC. : )

10 Things Senior Portrait Photographers Wish You Knew

It’s senior portrait season….which means lots of walking through the woods, quick changes in the back of the car, and explaining the difference between a package and ala carte.

I thought a little list of helpful hints was in order. So here I give you 10 Things We’d Like to Tell You = Senior Portrait Edition.

1. Iron Your Clothes

This is a big one….and maybe it’s my old school mentality (my mother used to iron EVERYTHING…jeans….sheets….everything). But dude, if you’re going to bring a bunch of outfits to wear for your portraits, at the very least make sure they’re ironed. If you don’t know how to use an iron…..maybe slip your mom a fiver and have her help you out. : )

2. Comfort is as Important as Style

Now, again….I’m showing my age here (my advanced, AARP ready age of 34, apparently) but sometimes the current fashions scare me. Short….tight….revealing…itty bitty…skinny jeans on dudes (how can you SKATE in those?!? That just baffles me!). But hey, who am I to judge.? My generation wore shower sandals with socks and called that fashion.

But, just because it’s FASHIONABLE doesn’t mean it looks good on your body type. Your pictures are going to turn out 1000 times better if you’re comfortable.

When I had mine done I agreed to wear this little flowery dress that my mom picked out. She loved it. It was the LAST thing I would ever wear…ever ever. That picture is the one that still hangs in their living room, but I tell ya….I think I looked so much better in the one where I was wearing ripped jeans and my Nirvana t-shirt. Because that was ME.

It’s the art of the compromise.
3. It’s Not 1992 Anymore.

Ok, tastes change. People change. Trends change. Sometimes it requires a bit of a come-to-Jesus talk with mom or dad to explain that soft-focus images of their baby girl hugging a tree aren’t really the way portraits are done anymore (at least not when I do them).

Same goes for props like giant numbers proclaiming your graduation year (remember those?!?), fake hay bales or a fake chain link fence, fake…well…fake stuff……crimes against portrait art everywhere and it runs the gamut.

Like wedding photography, every senior portrait artist is different and you have your choice when it comes to the look you’re going for. Just know that it CAN be done differently. You don’t need to have what people have had for years or what your parents had.

4. Hair-Do and Makeup and Stuff

Now, as I’ve mentioned before numerous times…hair and makeup are really not my forte’. It’s why I hire professionals for this stuff. I’m lucky if I leave the house wearing cover-up and a ponytail on most days.

A lot CAN be accomplished with modern editing software, yes, but consider having your roots done, a nice clean trim, or a professional makeup job for your portraits. It really can make the difference. Type A has a makeup artist on call (Holla at Stephanie!) that can work miracles, no joke.

Don’t laugh, even GUYS can benefit from a bit of blending and smoothing and what have you.

I guess the rule is, don’t just assume that computerized magic can fix all skin imperfections or hair issues.

5. Be On TIME!

Dude, I’m a stickler for this. Don’t be late for your appointment. Especially if the makeup artist is waiting for you. If you tend to run late for things, leave 15 minutes earlier than you thought you should. Also, come prepared. Bring your outfits and your props and what have you and have it ready to go : )

That being said, if you are sick the day of your appointment please reschedule. You’re not going to look your best if you’re running to the bathroom to ralph every 5 minutes.

6. Location, Location, Location

In every city there’s always the “go-to” portrait place. The place where everyone and their mother’s brother’s cousin’s friend wants their portraits taken. Mostly because all their friends did….or they’re unaware that there are other options.

In Milwaukee, that place is the Art Museum. In Madison, it’s the Capitol.

In Beloit, it’s Beckman Mill. God love it, but man…..on any given afternoon in the summer you’re going to see a handful of senior portrait sessions going on at Beckman Mill. It’s pretty and all, but there are plenty of other fabulous options in the area that can lend themselves to creative on-location portraits.

I always suggest to folks that they think of places that MEAN something to them. Not just a pretty background, but something that speaks to who they are: the theater at the high school, their grandma’s house where they spent every summer, their elementary school playground, the campus of their chosen college….

This is why I don’t limit locations….I want to allow the senior to really play with options and get creative along WITH me. If that means they want to hit three different places, hey…I’m game! You only get to do this once….go nuts!

(And if you really really want to hit up Beckman Mill, I ain’t gonna stop you! Trust me!)

7. Ma and Pa, Can I Have a Word?

Now, I get that you’re holding the checkbook. I TOTALLY get that. But sometimes it can really mess with a kid’s head if you’re sitting there picking them apart WHILE they’re being photographed….or if you’re hanging over the shooter’s shoulder questioning their every move.

I totally get that you want that beautiful, smiling, perfectly posed image of your baby….but going all Joan Crawford on them isn’t going to achieve that. If you TRUST your chosen portrait artist, let them work their magic.

One way to feel comfortable is to schedule a consult with your chosen shooter to go over your wishes and concerns BEFORE the big day. Then, you can just come and ENJOY the moment instead of being all worried that Junior’s smile isn’t smile-y enough.

Also, it MAY go without saying, but leave your camera at home. : )

8. Digital Vs. Print

Ahhh, that age old debate. Senior Portraits are kind of the last hold out in the digital vs. print war. Seniors and their parents still want prints. They want that big old portrait to hang in their foyer and have people marvel at the beauty of their child for years to come. It’s WHY you do senior portraits. So, I offer a bevvy of print options: metal, canvas, framed art prints, wallets, rep cards, albums, etc.

I ALSO offer digital images. Because this makes archiving and backing up at home possible…and whether we want to admit it or not, we are living in a digital world. People WANT to share those images on social media and send them off quickly to friends and family.

Remember that episode of Saved by the Bell where they made a video yearbook. Where the heck do you think Zack Morris’ video yearbook is NOW? On a VHS tape at the bottom of a box somewhere, that’s where. Probably has to go over to the house of the last relative that he knows has a VCR to watch it.

I am always going to stress the importance of printed images. Think of it this way, what if your grandparent’s images could only be retrieved through an outdated “digital” medium? They would be gone.  Prints are forever. I just can’t see a DVD or a digital download link becoming a family heirloom, especially as quickly as that technology shifts. Computers are already being built without DVD drives….I think in 10 years or so we are gonna have a bunch of folks with a bunch of useless DVDs. This makes me sad. PRINT YOUR STUFF!

9. Just Say No to Selfies and Cellphones

Someone told me recently that people were submitting selfies for their senior portraits (and may the Little Baby Jesus help you if you’re giving duckface and throwing up a peace sign as well).

No. Just…..no. Let’s just resist the urge to go there for a FEW more years, at least.

If you’re really hard up, everyone has someone in their family with a DSLR and a Facebook photography page. Hit them up. It’s better than a selfie.

Sometimes.  ; ) (Down, Snark-a-saurus! Down!)

10. HAVE FUN!

I know, this is a big fat Duh! but it really is supposed to be FUN. Come on in, bring some music with you if you want (unless you want to listen to whatever I have on, which could be Joe Cocker one day and Broadway the next, depending on my mood). Maybe we’ll order a pizza or something…or maybe not. Pizza sauce in teeth? Hmmm…..scratch that thought.

But, this is not the uptight, pose and prop your head on your hand and smile senior portrait situation. Just relax. You’re going to look so much better (and cooler and more fun…) if you chill out and not worry so much. I’ll help you along. : )

Just be prepared to work it out!

At the end of the day, if you work together with your chosen portrait photographer, you can both create a collection of senior portrait images that you’ll be proud to show everyone (as opposed to hide in the back of your family’s cedar chest or only give away to Grandma and distant relatives).

The Ballad of Uncle Bob ~ Wisconsin Wedding Photographer

Ok, sit down. It’s confession time.

Are you sitting down?

Ok.

**deep breath**

I once Uncle Bobbed a wedding.

There. I said it. Man…..do I feel a weight off my shoulders. I’ve carried the guilt of having once “Uncle Bobbed” for YEARS.

Backstory: This was back in 2008. I had BARELY just started Type A. In fact, I’m not sure if I was properly registered with the state yet (man, I was just chock full of amateur screw ups!)

One of my closest friends was getting married. I didn’t even have it in my head to SHOOT weddings yet, really. Frankly, I was as clueless as clueless could be and my whole idea going into my friend’s wedding was “this chick is gonna PAD HER PORTFOLIO”

Yup. I was going to use a wedding I wasn’t hired for to shoot wedding images.

**Insert audible groan from the peanut gallery here**

Now, ignorance of the “law” is really no excuse for bad behavior. I should have known better. But, I didn’t….which leads me to think that lots of folks packing up their D40’s and their 60D’s to tote to the next wedding they’re invited to in the hopes of getting a money shot for their new Facebook “business” page don’t really know better either. Or, they do and they’re just okay with being numpty heads. Either way, I thought it would be helpful to put together a little “Are You or Aren’t You” test…..print it out and take it yourself if you’re planning on attending a wedding any time soon as a guest.
 

So, what IS an Uncle Bob? “Uncle Bob” is an industry term referring to any non-hired photographer at a wedding that insists on shooting the thing anyway. Regardless of their gear. I’ve had Uncle Bobs that had better gear than I did…..I’ve had Uncle Bobs that used their cell phone like it was going out of style. Uncle Bobs can be male or female, young or old. Most tend to be distant relatives of the couple….or significant others of bridal party members (ahem….like I was. LOL). They are like the mosquitos of the wedding industry. Seemingly, the more you swat at them….the more they tend to buzz around.

So here’s a fool proof way to test your Bobby-ness. And if you find you have Uncle Bob’d, I say do 10 Hail Mary’s….a Glory Be….an Act of Contrition…..and never do it again!

1. You Pack Every Piece of Gear You Own
If you show up to a relative or friend’s wedding as someone OTHER than the hired gun with 4 external flashes, every lens in your arsenal, a light stand and a softbox?

Yeah, you’re probably an Uncle Bob. If you want to bring your camera to a wedding, that’s probably fine, most folks do. But there’s a fine line between snapping a few candids of your fellow guests and setting up a mobile studio.

2. You Plan on Surprising the Couple With a Gift
I hear this ALL. THE. TIME. Uncle Bob decides to shoot over your shoulder all day, print the images up at Walgreens, and surprise the couple with his artwork.

Uncle Bob, they would probably prefer the blender off their registry. I dunno, that’s just a guess. If you were the superior wedding-shooter you believe you are, they would have hired you to just shoot the wedding. Am I right?

3. You Plan on Putting Your Shots Up on Your Business Page
Ok, this is….like…mortal sin territory here. Let me explain why. Modern wedding vendors rely on word of mouth and Facebook/Internet exposure to market their businesses and get more paying clients. When you do this for a living, you really look forward to picking your favorites from wedding shoots and putting them up for the world to see….in hopes many people will see them and say “Hey, awesome…I want to hire that person too”

Now, I’m sure you have a similar thought process. I want the world to see MY shots and hopefully say “Hey, not bad…I’m gonna get Bob to shoot my wedding”…and maybe they’ll even PAY you! Holy BUCKETS!

Here’s the problem. If you were not hired and paid to shoot a wedding, you’re being a big liar liar pants on fire if you put your business name on shots you chimped off the hired gun from the side lines. Just to lay it all out there. Your business did not shoot this wedding. Period. People are going to see the professional shots from a particular wedding….and then your shots…and wonder “So, who really shot the wedding?”

So, if you want to get wedding experience without being a big fat liar : )….second shoot for someone. Wade into the water before you go belly flopping in. Belly flopping stings.

4. You’re Being Disruptive
Now, here’s where I find folks really don’t know where the line is. If the hired shooter is busy directing a group to stand a certain way, look a certain way, hold their bodies a certain way…..you stepping in to co-direct or move them to suit your needs or what you find “better” is just….ugh…no. Just NO. Even if you think the hired shooter is a moron who has no idea what they’re doing. You have a right to your opinion, but a wedding day probably isn’t the day to step in and assume their duties.

Think of it this way: Lets say you LOVE music….and you’re an audiophile, like my husband (who pretty much criticizes every DJ we come across). You go to a wedding thinking “I can’t believe they hired such and such DJ. They SUCK….I’m much better”….so you bring your own music collection, your own gear, and you set up your own booth right next to the DJ.

Regardless of how much better you may think you may be, how disruptive will that be to the flow of the day to have TWO DJ’s vying for attention of the wedding party?

Yup, its kind of the same thing with Uncle Bob. Wedding parties are hard enough to corral and direct without two cooks stirring the pot.

5. You are PHYSICALLY in the way.

Yes, during the ceremony, standing center aisle will probably guarantee you a pretty good shot of the first kiss.

It also blocks my guaranteed shot of the first kiss. So, yeah…..

Also, on a similar note, I’m pretty sure the bride doesn’t want the ambient glow of cellphones lighting her entrance into the church. She’s much rather see the adoring faces of her guests.

ON THAT NOTE……

6. You’re MISSING stuff

If you’re so busy chimping all the shots you got or worrying about when the couple are going out at sunset, you’re going to miss the event. Trust me. When I shoot a wedding I’m not PARTICIPATING in the event the way a guest who was specifically invited for that purpose would. I am wolfing down the probably-expensive meal so I have time to catch the speeches, I am concerned with lighting and angle, I’m running around like the proverbial headless chicken.

You were invited to share in a moment in someone’s life….not photograph it….SHARE in it. That means put your phone down and WATCH these moments that the couple have meticulously planned over the past year or so.

So, You’re An Uncle Bob. Now What?

If you’re sitting here reading this going “Oh crap. I’ve Uncle Bobbed. I feel like a heel. Now what?”

I feel ya. Been there. Like I said, I once Uncle Bobbed too. There is hope for all of us.

First, think of the couple next time you’re invited to a wedding. They want you there to participate in their day, not work.

There are also plenty of other better ways of adding weddings to your portfolio without being a pain in the butt. Second shooting, assisting….etc. There are a lot of photographers out there (myself included) who are happy to take new photographers under her wing, under most circumstances, and allow them to keep what they shoot for me under my business, for their portfolio.

Now, with that being said, don’t assume that because you are starting your own business that the hired shooter at the next wedding you attend wants to mentor you….especially right then and there. We’re WORKING. We don’t want to be rude, but dude…..think about your own 9-5 job and add a person next to you asking you a billion questions that you didn’t agree to train….yeah, it can be a bit distracting.

Approach someone outside of their work day that you admire and inquire about assisting. Start small. You have to get your foot in the door and work your way up. There’s no fast track, no matter what anyone says.

And on a final note, be aware if a hired photographer may want you to just put your camera away and enjoy the day. Some of us throw more subtle hints that others. Some of us are cool with just saying “Um…dude….I’m workin’ here”. Most of us have clauses in our contract to cover this sort of stuff. But, we WANT to be happy and helpful on our client’s big day, not running interference….so it’s SO much easier if you just test yourself, then check yourself. :)

Together, we can lessen the impact of Uncle Bobs for the NEXT generation : )

Andrea (member of the infamous A-Team) surrounded by well-meaning "second shooters) 

25 Things Wedding Photographers Wish You Knew

I’m all about being an open book. I’ve had SO many conversations with folks about what we WISH we could tell clients but don’t….out of fear mostly. We want to give our clients the world, but at the same time I don’t know too many other people who attend as many weddings as we do….so we learn a few things.

So, I decided to lay it all out there. 25 things we WISH we could tell you……just consider this your little bit of insider information  :)

1. Pinterest is Not Real Life.
I blogged about Pinterest at length last year, but it’s kind of become the best and worst thing that’s happened to the wedding industry in the past few years. It’s WONDERFUL for organizational purposes, for seeing where your head is as far as what you like and what you don’t…..but if you’ve printed out a 5 page booklet of Pinterest derived images for your photographer to replicate……oy. We’re gonna think you’re crazy. Be forewarned.

Your wedding is YOUR wedding, not some pre-designed Pinterest event. Let it happen naturally.

2. Don’t Let People Walk All Over You

This is YOUR wedding….so don’t let a pushy friend force you into some cheesetastic posing that they did at her wedding 10 years ago….and don’t let your mom try to take over church portrait time. Weddings are a perfect time to try on those big girl panties for the first time. :)

3. Strapless Dresses Are Not For Everyone.
Nope. They’re not. Ain’t nuttin’ wrong with sleeves. Just ask Kate Middleton.

4. Your Dress is PROBABLY Going to Get Dirty.
So just “Let it Go” (yep, that’s SO stuck in your head now, isn’t it?)

5. If Your Groom Hates Pictures, Have the Come to Jesus Talk With Him PRE-WEDDING
This is the day for Groomy to suck it up. No amount of whining or “I don’t wanna do this anymore” is helpful…..and it just leads to “why aren’t there more pictures of my groom?!?!” afterwards. It ain’t gonna kill him to just smile and make it work.

6. I Can’t Tell You if Your Hair or Makeup Looks Ridic.
Dude, have you SEEN my hair? Seriously? And I rarely even WEAR makeup (I will wear some to your wedding though, so people don’t think your photographer has the flu). So, if your chosen hairstylist gives you some jacked up “do”….I am probably not going to say anything. I’m going to assume it looks the way it’s supposed to look. Because I am not a hairstylist.

(PS: If your makeup is smeared all over your face or your hairstyle is falling OUT…I will say something. I’m not completely inept in the ways of beauty. I read Cosmo.)

7. Certain “Traditions” Kinda Give People the Willies

This can certainly vary by region…..but I know the general consensus is that the Dollar Dance is pretty passe, the bride should probably refrain from keg stands, and smashing cake in your beloved’s face isn’t as cute as it looks on AFV.

8. Glitter Doesn’t Make You Glow-y
In fact, on camera, it kind of looks like dandruff. Just sayin’.

9. We Don’t Know Your Family

Yes, I know. You gave us a list with people’s names on it. I should know that you need a picture with Uncle Kenny from Arkansas. Problem is, I have no freakin’ idea who Uncle Kenny is among the 200 guests at your wedding. I shoot many many weddings a year, with many Uncle Kenny’s. I try very hard to find out who people are, but if this is a must-take image…than just take a minute or two, hunt down Uncle Kenny for me (or designate a friendly Uncle Kenny finder), and let’s make it happen : )

10. I Can’t Make 4 Hours of Pictures Happen in 30 Minutes

Because I’m not a Time Lord.

(I am, however, a huge nerd. That doesn’t really help me timing wise either.)

11. Food Is Fundamental
Every photographer is different. Some require a meal be provided to them. Some do not. Some bring their meal. But, we needs to eat. A fed photographer is a happy photographer. And its actually beneficial to you, the client, if we are fed when you are….not after everyone else. Typically we have to stop eating to capture the speeches….(and more often than not return to our little nook to find someone took our untouched plate). If we can slam some grub before dinner is fully served, we’ll be ready and rarin’ to go when the festivities begin in earnest….not scrounging for leftover salads and bread or getting ready to pass out in the corner because all we’ve eaten all night are cocktail cherries (true story).

12. No You Cannot Have Every Picture We Took

We don’t do this to be big mean jerkfaces. Even as professionals, not every picture we take is a winner. Some are downright unflattering. Some have bad light. Sometimes the flash hasn’t recycled yet and didn’t fire. So, this is why we edit. We go through and we customize your collection. Believe me, we didn’t get rid of anything that is integral to your day.

13. Forewarn Your Shooter
If the church lady at your chosen venue is completely scary and mean…..if there is familial strife that is going to cause odd issues the day of…..if your Grandma is blind and needs extra assistance. We need to know these things. If anything to simply avoid awkward situations.

Take it from someone who once assumed someone’s Sister was their Grandma. Yeah. That was fun.

14. SLOW DOWN.
Dude, I can’t tell you how many bridal parties book down the aisle like it’s a race…..only to have the couple wonder later why I only managed 1 shot of each pairing during the processional. SLOW. DOWN.

15. Engagement Sessions Help Immensely!

It’s not just a sales tactic to say that Engagement Sessions are SUPER helpful. It’s the best time to have a relaxed, “getting to know you” session with your shooter. Find out how they direct and even maybe point out some issues BEFORE the big day that you didn’t realize would be there. They’re also helpful for me to see if one of you has a Chandler Smile that needs to be remedied before the wedding.

16. Control Your Uncle Bob

This is a toughy. It is. Everyone and their mom has a camera these days…..and everyone looks at your wedding as their chance to rock on with their bad selves and present you with pictures afterwards.

I cannot TELL you how many cellphones/iPads/cameras/flashes I have to contend with during processionals. It’s just par for the course, these days, but I no longer have a background of adoring faces watching the bride approach her husband to be. I have a bunch of devices.

Consider having a device-free ceremony (you’ll be cutting edge, I swear) or at the very least, try to control your overbearing shutterbug of a relative from jumping in the fray of family formals. It’s hugely distracting, especially if one is under a deadline.

17. Friends Do Not Make Good Vendors
Now, this is NOT necessarily a hard and fast rule….just one I’ve seen played out again and again. I’ve had couples contact me and say “We’ve decided to have a friend photograph our wedding as a gift”

There’s a few things that can go awry with this plan:
1. Often…Friend is not a wedding photographer….they’re a camera owner. There’s a big difference here.

2. If friend IS a professional wedding photographer, resentment can crop up if they’re not being fairly compensated for their work.

3. If friend has OTHER friends at the wedding, it can be tough to be in work mode 100% when others are in party mode.

4. If you wanna keep “Friend” a Friend…..let them come as a guest and hire a non-friend professional. However, as your friend, I can’t promise I won’t be watching your chosen shooter like a hawk. : )

18. Happy Brides = Great Pictures

Your attitude on your wedding day DIRECTLY relates to your images….I can’t capture blissful peace and overwhelming happiness if it isn’t there. So, I will vow to try my utmost to “capture the happy”, but it helps to “check yo self” and RELAX. Don’t let the day run you over. It’s a BIG day…an important one….but one you want to look back on fondly…not remember as the night you went crazy, had too much to drink and yelled at your best friend.

19. It Might Rain/Snow/Sleet/Be Cold/Be Hot/Be Windy On Your Day

Wish I could control the weather. REALLY wish I could. In my line of work it would be a massively kick-butt superpower. Alas, I cannot. So just roll with it. We’ll work it out.

 20. Gigantic Drunk Bridal Parties Will Affect Your Images

TRUST ME on this one. I know it’s your big party day, but if you’ve planned 15 different stops in 1 hour with your 21 nearest and dearest….who are all partaking in the bubbly on the bus….I’m just little ole me…..have mercy. Maybe designate your bossiest and most sober pal as the Bridal Party Picture Manager….to keep everyone in check.

21. Hold that KISS

Remember when I said “slow down”? This applies to the kiss at the altar too. If you do some 1 second airy platonic peck….the chances of me catching it diminish by quite a bit, and then we have to awkwardly recreate it later.

Extra cool points to those couples who do 2-3 kisses in a row. : )

22. SMILE for Crying Out Loud! 

I know you’re nervous….I know you feel like you’re gonna puke. But, SMILE. It’s a happy day. If I’m being all ninja stealthy and trying to capture candids and you’ve got bitchy resting face the entire time……meh, not good.

23. We Tend to Book Early
This is the God’s honest truth. People typically book their venue…then the photographer. In recent years we’ve been getting a lot of late bookers…which is totally weird…but not the norm.

Don’t chance it.

24. It Drives Us Nuts to Miss Perfect Photo Ops. 

This MAY just be me….and a few friends I know. Type A and all that. But it actually makes me TWITCHY if there’s a GORGEOUS sunset and no one wants to utilize it. So, if your photographer runs up to you all out of breath and giddy and asks for 5 minutes…TAKE IT. It’ll be worth it.

25. We Cannot Read Minds

This would also be super cool and helpful, but alas…not to be. If you don’t have good, open communication with your chosen photographer…you can’t expect them to do everything you envision flawlessly. Chances are we’ve only met face to face a handful of times and I’m going on only what you tell me.

Remember, I WANT to rock it out for you. We all do. The great majority of us pride ourselves on kicking ass and taking names every weekend. But we need to work together to make that happen.

All in all, all most of us want are chill, easy-to-work-with folks who are happy on their day. Who have realistic expectations…..and don’t call us “hey you”. We all want to have an awesome time….and now you have a little insider info on how to make that happen!